egberts:

of all the dumb stuff i did when i was younger at least i can proudly say i was never a fan of annoying orange

tea-tears-and-bbc:

ballerina-austin:

deductionswiththedoctor:

So we started reading Romeo and Juliet in English class and i yelled out SPOILER: Romeo and Juliet die… and i shit you not at least 1/3 of the class got really pissed at me beacuse they didnt know thats how it ended

IT TELLS YOU IN THE PROLOGUE

CIVIL BLOOD MAKES CIVIL HANDS UNCLEAN

WHAT DID YOU THINK THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT, SOMEONE GETTING A PAPERCUT

emilioestevez:

story time

so about 7 months ago, my girlfriend at the time asked me to move in. so i did and we lived together for roughly 6 weeks. she asked me to move out until i was mature enough to live with a girl because in those 6 weeks i drew a dick on her face while she was sleeping 11 times.

toolegitforclit:

peanutsareforpussies:

osointricate:

shorm:

birdpear:

depression is like trying to peel a potato with another potato its not fun it doesnt work and you just wanna cry

…why is this such a good metaphor what the fuck

#and then people are like #God! Why don’t you just get a peeler!? #and then they HAND YOU ANOTHER FUCKING POTATO

this makes so much sense

why is that actually the best metaphor